Wednesday, November 3, 2010

When I don't listen sometimes God shouts..


Sometimes I think that I suffer from long-term memory loss when it comes to my schedule. I tend to get wrapped up in the here and now of what I want and think is best and I forget the lessons that God has taught me in the past..and well then he sometimes has to yell to get my attention in his special God way.

Take Exhibit A:

In the months before we got to Utah I was happy not working, having more of a free schedule to get involved in activities and undergoing fertility treatments. Right after we ended the last round of treatments with a BFN we moved to Utah and decided to take a short break from the said treatments. I was in a new place with no friends, no treatments to occupy my time and it was in the middle of the summer so most activities were on hold. So what does that mean, well it means that I get bored and start thinking that I need to work full time again (yes, forgetting what God had shown me last year when I went through this and realized we work better as a family and I am more happy when I am not working or working part time). I do want to add before I continue that I don’t think there is anything AT ALL wrong with both spouses working fulltime, this is just what I have realized works best for my family and God has blessed us with the fact that I don't have to work.

Anyways, moving along..

I admit now (which I have known for a while) that I basically have two speeds or schedules I bounce back and forth from: free and slow or crazy and supper busy! What to guess which schedule I am on now??

Luckily on my never-ending quest for a job once we arrived in Utah I see how God orchestrated it so that I would get a temp job (not even temp-to-hire). Working and trying to fit everything else in this last month has reminded me of those oh so precious lessons that he taught me the last time I worked full-time. It has also brought to the forefront how much we want to grow our family and how hard that is when we never see each other :)


I'm a little dense sometimes and although I have moments of clarity I seem to forget them right after and either try to add more responsibilities to my already packed list or think that I can continue on like this forever.

Moving onto Exhibit B:

Since we have been leaving the Charles alone a lot during the day I thought it would be a good idea to get him a friend. The hubs and I talked getting another dog and decided it might be best to wait until January when I am done working. However, I talked the hubs into going to Pet Co. a few weeks ago during an adoption day and we found our second dream dog. She seemed almost too good to be true but we also had jumped into our last dog purchase too quickly so we didn't want to do the same thing again (although now we wouldn't give up the Charles for anything)! We got the foster family's number with the promise to think (and pray hard) about it during the week and let them know by Friday (it was Sunday). Luckily the hubs was diligent about waiting till the end of the week and really trying to listen to where God was leading us. Me on the other hand, well I prayed about it but I really felt that we should do it so I think I was a little annoying to the hubs that week :)

At the end of the week we decided to do the "foster to adopt" where you take the dog for a week and then if it works you pay for her and if not you give her back to the foster family. We picked her up Saturday and had fun watching her interact with the Charles. It was weird though too because we are so used to our routine and so it kind of shook that up. When we had talked to the foster family they said they thought she was about 6 months and that she was potty trained and didn't chew (yeah I know). After going through the puppy phase with the Charles we vowed never to do it again but we figured she was far enough a long that she was mostly out of that phase.

Once we got her home we realized that she was younger than they thought (the hubs noticed that she still had her baby teeth). She did really good overall though; she would sit at the door when she had to go potty but when we didn't notice she would go in the house. We got her some chew toys but then Charles decided that he wanted whatever toy Layla was playing with at the time..yeah good kid training :)

By the next morning though when she had pooped in the house and I tried taking both dogs outside at the same time by myself, and she chewed my favorite flip-flops, we realized we might be a one dog family for right now. If I wasn't working full time it might have been a different story but even with that I couldn't imagine having both of them with a new baby (whenever our time comes for that).

We decided to take her back before us or her or the Charles got too attached. It is crazy how much you can get attached to a dog in just one day though. The night after we took her back I cried the whole night. I kept picturing her little face and felt like I had abandoned or betrayed her. Seriously, I was a mess! At work the next day I wasn’t any better but I also didn't want to make the hubs feel bad by talking about it non-stop. If I could have I would have gone back and got her right then and there! At that time I really felt like we didn’t' give her enough of a chance, but as the hubs pointed out..we could have made it work but it wouldn't have been the best situation for her or us. It was funny too because she never went potty inside or chewed at the foster girl's house and I think it was because they were home during the day and have a yard.

But again God has a plan and I learn the hard way…

and finally Exhibit C:

Two days after we took Layla back I was taking the Charles out to go potty before I left for work we were walking up the cement steps when he saw a cat…yes me and early morning darkness and dogs are not a good mix right now (I.e. the dog bite). I didn’t realize that he had taken off running with me attached until I hit the ground hard. My knee skidded and thumped and hurt really bad. I ended up getting a rug-burn and a huge lump on my knee. I took a picture and sent it to my mom and one of the first things she said was “I think God is trying to tell you to slow down and you won’t listen so he has to get your attention someway”. She also brought up a good point that if I had two dogs outside it might have been a lot worse. I had to agree and laugh a little because as hard as these last few weeks have been I am starting to learn to listen to God. I am learning not to say “but” or “what about this” when God tries to tell me something. I fully believe that He is in control and that My life is better when I don’t question his plan but just go along. It is not easy but for the sake of my sanity and legs, it’s essential.

Oh and in more exciting news…tomorrow is trash day which means it is Thursday and that is one day closer to Friday and the weekend!!

No comments:

Post a Comment