Boy Reality Check and Pregnancy Brain

You know when you say something or think something and then immediately realize that maybe you shouldn’t have acknowledged that certain thought because know you are going to be tested? No? Well I do it all the time. Shocker! Today was one of those times. I have been reading Dr. Dobson’s “Raising up Boys” in preparation for the Hudster and although I was initially freaked by all the little boy stories, I then started to get excited about what the new addition of a little boy would bring. I have to admit that I was almost a little over-confident about how well I thought I could handle having a boy even with the crazy stories swarming all around me. Yeah, just so you know, it’s not a good idea to think you are totally capable of handing these things before ever experiencing them :)

So here’s how it all went down:

Right now the Charles and I are chilling at the folks in Cali for a few weeks of fun and parties while the Hubs is working away (Hubs just so you know working is way overrated and they should pay you to come chill with us..just saying). So anyways, while we are here I have to keep a tight watch on the Charles while he ventures out into the Rent’s yard since they are hosting my shower and a wedding reception while we are out here. He had been doing pretty good and not getting into too much trouble so I let him out unaccompanied today to get some outdoors time. I was on a tight time schedule so I wasn’t checking on him too much (getting ready for my spray-tan appointment was much more important at the time). As I was getting ready to leave I remembered that I still hadn’t checked on the Charles and he was still all alone outside. Yeah insert cringe now..

When I looked out I saw him playing with something unfamiliar looking on the ground. It wasn’t until I actually stepped outside and got a little closer did I realize it was a dead bird. And I freaked. I yelled at him to get inside and then panicked on what to do..I mean there was no way I could stomach picking up a dead bird, but my dad was at work and I couldn’t leave it on the lawn since the shower is tomorrow. I looked outside again and saw the wing move…okay now the bird isn’t even all the way dead. I really couldn’t believe I had a killer as a dog son. I ran into my mom’s room and told her what had happened all while freaking out and fighting tears. She suggested that I let Charlie out to finish the job. My heart broke..that poor little bird. I took my mom up on her suggestion and once I was sure the bird was dead I made the Charles come back in. Luckily while I was at my tanning appointment my mom picked up the bird and told me that she thought it was already dead way earlier. I realized the wind must have made the wing move and that Charles was in fact not a killer..just gross.

However, it also made me re-evaluate how ready I really am to handle all the boy stuff. Yikes! I know I will have to man up at some point (since i’m sure Hudson will do the gross stuff while the Hubs is away) and not freak out about things like lizards or bugs or dead birds. But let’s be honest, I am sure I will always freak out and I will no longer think I am going to be a pro at having a boy..lesson learned :)

On another note..Hudson is taking over my brain. Today I dropped my phone and it broke open in the parking lot. I gathered all the pieces (this has happened several times before) and got in my car to put them all together. Once I got the phone back in one piece I stared at it for like 5 minutes because I couldn’t remember how to turn it on. I tried the button I thought it was and it just wasn’t working. By then I was freaking out that I broke my only source of communication to the Hubs and many others. I tried to take the battery out and back in several times to see if that would make it work but all I got was an error message. I finally realized I might be hitting the wrong button but then I got a message that everything was wiped out. After a brief moment of clarity (or old Ashley..I miss you and come back please) as I was pulling into best buy to see if they could fix it I did the battery thing one more time and hit the correct button to turn it on and it worked. Praise the Lord! This loosing your mind thing can be very frustration though!