Baby Dreams

I know I haven’t posted on this topic in a while, mostly because there wasn’t a lot to say. We had decided to take a break from the fertility treatments and for a while I was okay with that. I enjoyed getting to spend time with the hubs, run a marathon and make some extra money. I was okay that we were putting our dreams of starting a family on hold for a tbd time frame. I was okay with just being a dog parent ( I mean the Charles is the greatest)! I was okay until I had a dream that we had a brand new baby boy and well it rocked me a little. It brought back all of my desires of wanting to start a family now, all the feelings that I had tried to push away and ignore came crashing back. I love our family and if God doesn’t have children in His plans for us than I will have to trust him to be okay …but for now I can’t stand it.

I can’t stand it when I hear people who weren’t trying or didn’t want to get pregnant conceive. I can’t stand the thought of  having to wait years for this to happen to us. It is funny though, because as hard as it is to wait I am finding it easier to really trust God in this. The big thing that I have learned through the less than wonderful world of infertility is that no matter what I try to do or control it is all up to God and I trust Him with that. Everything in my life that I have tried to push and make happen never turns out right, yet I am a control freak and have a hard time letting go. However, everything that has happened in God’s timing are the best things in my life now! So yes, I can trust Him in this too. I would be lying though if I said that was easy.

So here I am waiting. Trying to be patient. Watching my friends get pregnant and have babies and yearning for the day that it is my turn (and I am ecstatic for all of them and the blessing God has given them). I am fighting hard not to jump ahead of God’s timing and quit my job and do everything I can to make it happen now!

I finish this job hopefully at the end of December and I am hoping we can start fertility treatments again. I still feel that my body is off and hasn’t returned to “normal” since the last treatment. I have a regular OB appointment in two weeks and I am really excited to see what is going on (I haven’t been checked out since the last round of treatment). I am nervous for the process and I am also hoping that it might be possible to start again before work is over. Ultimately though, I am trusting God and His perfect plan!

Well that’s all for now..I hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday!

Dog bites and Horse pills..

 

Wow! Where have I been?? I seriously can’t believe a month has went by since my last post…so terribly sorry! Well work has been crazy busy and that’s about it. I haven’t been doing much besides working and coming home, hanging with the hubs and the Charles of course and training for a sprint tri (which is really hard with a busted knee). Yeah, I'm am hoping it is healed in the next few weeks or at least healed enough for three miles..yesterday I made it through two miles before the pain became too much to handle. I guess it’s more non-running exercise for me. Luckily we just bought road bicycles which surprisingly I am actually liking and with that and swimming I am still able to train for the other aspects of the sprint triathlon.

I did have one minor set back this week though and leaned a valuable lesson..don’t go running in the dark at 4:45 am with a German Shepherd on the loose. Usually I run (or lately attempt to run) after work but I had a dinner date with a friend so I decided to run around the neighborhood (I thought I was being smart since the neighborhood is where the street lights are). I was less than 1/2 a mile into my run when I turned the corner and heard the neighbors annoying German Shepherd barking. This didn’t surprise me at first because they always tie him up in the front yard and let him bark like crazy but I did think that it was a little early for it to be out. That is when I realized that it was running right at me and getting closer (too close to be on a leash). I heard the owner yelling at the dog and I panicked. Before I knew it he bit my leg hard. I screamed and he let go, the owner ran over and I was freaked. I really believe that the dog was surprised that he bit me and I am sure my panic spurred the attack.  The owner (who is the most irresponsible dog owner and always lets his dog poop in our yard) said that the dog was a police dog and he was trained to chase down and bite people.

I had no idea what to do but I did think it was odd because I knew the neighbor wasn’t a police man. I am still not sure but I am assuming the dog is a retired police dog that this family adopted. He said that no one is usually out but he still shouldn’t have left the dog off the leash.

Anyways, I ran straight home and by the time I got to the door I was sobbing and in shock. It didn’t hurt too much but I was just freaked. I was going to bandage it up and go to work but when I saw the damage I decided to call the hubs and see what he thought I should do. To make a long story short we decided that I needed to go to the base clinic but it was the only day that it opened later so I decided to go to work until I could get an appointment. Probably not the best idea since I was in a lot of pain and my leg was really swollen, but I didn’t want to sit at home. The hubs tired to go over to the neighbors house to get their phone number but we were unable to get a hold of them. While I was at work I found out that we had to go to the ER so that they could also file all the reports with animal control. I was almost in tears at the thought that anything would happen to the dog (i mean it was his owner’s fault) but they assured me that nothing would happen.

I got checked out and they gave me antibiotics (which are as big as horse pills..really) and bandaged me up. My mom thinks that I should make the family pay for the time off work that I missed but I don’t want it to turn into any big thing…What do you think? The owner said they would pay for my medical bills if the insurance doesn’t (which they are required to do). Would you make them pay for the day of work that you missed?

I am doing good now and my leg is healing up but I am still a little scared to go by their house with the dog there and I am not running that early in the morning anymore!

In other news we might get our first snow this week! Have a great Sunday :)

Marathon Recap and all that jazz

Here is the full recap of the full marathon..

I have also mentioned a lot recently that the hubs and I were running the Top of Utah marathon. I was super determined to run this race because I feel that I have been trying to accomplish running a marathon for about ½ a year now and things keep happening. So when we had a little snag in our training plan due to rolling our car, well that wasn’t going to stop us! Originally our farthest run before the race was going to be 23 miles (more than I had ever run)! We missed our 20 mile weekend so last weekend we opted to do 20 instead of 23 as not to injure ourselves. I had found in the past that drinking ZipFizz really helps keep my potassium in check since it has about 950 mg of potassium per serving. However, I kept forgetting to drink it the past few weeks and it wasn’t really bothering me so I didn’t bother with it. On Monday after the 20 mile run (this last Monday) I started getting muscle spasms in my chest and I knew it was due to a lack of potassium. I started downing the zipfizz like no other and almost went to the doc but decided not to. I was a little nervous for the race because I didn’t want anything bad to happen but the day before I felt pretty good (and like I said I was determined to run this race)!

The race was about an hour away from us so in an effort to save money we decided to get up at 3am on Saturday and head out so we could get there to pick up our packets before 4:30am. We had to park at the end spot and then we were going to get bussed up to the start. Both the hubs and I knew it was going to be cold so we purchased some cheap walmart sweats so that we could wear them that day and then shed them and not lose our nice stuff. I even sported my ear warmers and gloves because it was about 40-45 degrees…brrr! We got all squared away with our packets, changed into our racewear and got on the bus. As we were riding in the bus we passed our car and noticed that the light had been left on..oh no! I pointed it out to the hubs and he was like “oh well, I guess we will have to find someone to jump start us when we get back”. Um no! I knew that was the last thing either one of us would want to do once we were done with the race…we would just want to go home! However, I held my wifey tongue and then once we got close to the start destination the hubs had come up with a plan (he is very brilliant)! We ended up giving our keys to the bus driver who then returned down to where our car was and turned off the light, left the keys in the car and left one door unlocked. I was supper nervous the whole race that either our car or keys would be missing when we got done (but the driver was very nice and trustworthy)! Once we got up the top we had to wait about 45 minutes in before the race started and I was freezing so I convinced the hubs to go in the tent with the heaters and wait it out till the race started. It was supper cramped but totally worth it! Right before the race started we shed most of our sweats knowing that we would soon be getting warm.

Neither of us are really pre-race eaters but I was starving before it started. Luckily as we started to run my hunger decreased. I think I was getting a little overwhelmed at how many miles 26.2 actually is! We started out at a good pace and for the fist ½ there was a lot of gradual downhills with some up hills too (which helped our legs a lot). My goal was a sub 4 (less than 4 hours) and at the ½ way point we were at about a 8:50 average which was right on track. I was starting to really feel it though! At about mile 14 we had to stop to us the restroom (well I used the outhouse and the hubs used the side of the road)! The bad part is that once you pee it dehydrates you some..but it was coming out one way or another :) We then really started to take advantage of the aid stations and at least get water. I had a little bit of orange and a few bites of banana throughout because of the potassium thing. We didn’t use any gu’s even though they were provided (I don’t like them that much and didn’t really feel the need).

At mile 19 I was doing pretty good physically but the hubs was feeling dehydrated and not doing well. We stopped and walked some and it wasn’t getting better so he told me to go ahead. My time was slowly slipping away so I decided to press on. It was a hard decision because I really wanted to finish with him but I also wanted to see what I could truly run it in. By that time I was pretty sure I wouldn’t get a sub 4 but there was still a slight chance and if not I wanted to get as close to it as possible. Oh and one annoying part was that their mile markers were off about .2 of a mile the whole time so the whole course ended up being about 26.47 miles, not 26.2.

I did pretty well until I hit mile 20. I knew that as I pressed on from that point it was new territory and I was waiting to hit a wall. I think I psyched myself out because although I as feel okay physically (no major pains or cramps) I had a hard time pushing past the mental block. I ended up walking more than I would have like the last 5 miles. I was so happy to see the end! Since I knew the mile markers were off I decided to stop my watch when it hit 26.2 miles to see what my true time would be. I finished according to my watch time in 4 hours and 12 minutes. I crossed the final finish line in 4 hours and 17 minutes. I was happy just to completed it even though I didn’t make my goal..hey I was still standing!

From there I worried about the hubs till he crossed the finish line at 4 hours and 29 minutes! Way to go hubs! He did so amazing and I was so proud of him. After we found each other we drank some water and then headed to find our car. At that time I made the crucial mistake of not stretching..opps! We found our car (yay) and headed back down the hill. We stopped at the first McDonalds and got the largest diet coke they had and some food. About 30 minutes later we stopped at the sonic to get some more much needed diet DP.

We pretty much crashed the rest of the weekend. I can barely walk up the stairs right now and my legs will not stop twitching. I made another mistake yesterday and wore 4 inch heels to church..not good! By the time we were walking through costco my legs kept giving out. I have kept drinking the zipfizz and I am starting to do a little better! We are doing a light run today and I hope my legs hold out :) As we were running I kept thinking to myself..I am never doing this again! Yet as soon as we finished I started trying to figure out how I could do better next time. Yes, I know it’s a sickness! We looked at the local events last night and found some smaller ones (like 10k’s and 1/2s) to do in the next few months but the big event is going to be a sprint triathlon! I really hope we do because it sounds amazing, we just have to work out the logistics! Well that’s all..

Weekend in Review: A new job and my first Marathon..

As you probably have guessed (due to my lack of blogging and total fail of my 30 day goal) things have gotten quite busy as of late. Oh and before I forget I wanted to thank everyone for your encouragement and advice about going gluten free. Today actually starts my day 1 of 6 weeks gluten free. I was going to start last week when I posted but things got kind of crazy and I will get into it more as we go.

Let’s see…where to start. I have mentioned a couple of times that I have been looking for a job since we arrived in Utah. Since we all know how wonderful the job world is right now I wasn’t getting very far in my search. When we lived in NJ I had the most success landing a paycheck using staffing agencies. A few weeks ago I was getting desperate motivated and decided to check in with the local office of a staffing company that I had signed up for in NJ. I hadn’t had much luck with them in the past but hey it was worth a shot. I interviewed and the girl who I worked with was really nice.

Sidenote: I am learning that my best temp experiences come from the staffing companies where I like their associates (I know shocker but it took me a while).

Anyways, we really hit it off and she said that she has some good leads in mind for me. I really enjoy working in a bank environment and she had nothing but encouraging words for that. She also told me that if I didn’t hear from her in a week to call back and check in.

Fast forward to the next week..

I hadn’t heard anything and was planning on calling her the Friday of Labor day weekend. Well we all know how that weekend turned out for me :) So, since our plans were changed due to the accident and we were back home instead of in Bako, I went ahead and took the opportunity to call her. Just my luck the office had closed for the long weekend but I left a message with plans to call again on Tuesday. Tuesday morning I was pleasantly surprised to receive a call from my new BFF staffing agent. She said a new job had opened up with the corporate center of a national bank dealing with the merger they were going through and she thought of me first. I thought the job sounded ideal and didn’t mind that it would make me have a 40 minute commute. I went through the whole background check process but still wasn’t sure if I had the job or not because in the past they have always wanted an interview. Originally I was told by my new BFF staffing agent that I could possibly start on Monday but when it was Friday and still no word I called her back. Long story short no interview needed and I ended up starting on Wednesday. This just added to my crazy week of new-ness considering that this weekend was my first marathon and I was extremely nervous! To make matters more interesting I have been struggling with my low potassium levels this last week (prob due to my amount of running but I am going to go to the doc) and so on my first day of work I almost fainted and kept praying “please don’t let me faint on my first day!”.

Luckily I didn’t and all was good :) So far my new job has been pretty uneventful. It is based on the amount of work that we receive for this one project and since it is towards the end of the project there really isn’t that much work (which is why I am writing this as work right now). We received some work my first day but the rest of the time I have spent internet shopping and doing anything else I please to pass the time! It may sound nice but I would really prefer some work to make the time go by faster…oh well at least I am getting paid. This is supposed to be a long term assignment so I am hoping that they find other work and don’t just end it.

I am finally getting used to working full time again though and even when not doing anything productive I am happy to be working! All the people that I work with are really nice and fun to talk to! So that’s that about work.

Moving right along…I completed my first marathon this weekend! Yes, I am stoked except for the fact that my legs will not stop twitching! Stupid potassium problems..booo! I won’t leave you hanging for too long but I am going to provide the full recap in the next post. Just know that both the hubs and I are still in working order!

Have a great Monday!

Saying goodbye to my friend Gluten – Day 18/19

For any of you who have read my blog you know by now that we have been struggling with infertility. We stopped treatments when we moved to Utah at the end of June. After our last bout of injections and IUI’s I decided I needed a break. With the move and getting settled and starting a new job, the hubs and I aren’t ready quite yet to jump back into treatments. However, my yearning for a baby as not diminished! We were in church yesterday and I felt like we were surrounded by little babies and all the sudden I got so sad because the thought struck me that we may never be one of those couples.

During our treatment break I have been doing a lot of research and basically trying more natural ways to maybe get pregnant without having to go back to the RE. One of my biggest frustrations since stopping the treatments has been the fact that my stomach has remained supper bloated, my face has broken out a ton and I am cramping all the time. Due to the PCOS I don’t really ovulate on my own and I hardly ever have a true period. Last month (the first month off treatment) I ended up having a period on my own which gave me hope that maybe we could do this naturally (not that going back is bad or anything). After that period I started to take mucus thinning meds and tried to chart my temp but I wasn’t very consistent. I also didn’t have any noticeable cervical mucus during the whole month so it was kind of hard to chart my ovulation (if I ovulated at all). One thing I found out from my last RE is that my follicles don’t like to release the egg..grrr!

Anyways, right before the accident I started spotting very lightly and it lasted off and on for a few days. I really thought I might be starting my period but it was around day 21 of my cycle so I thought that was a little soon. I never ended up having my period but I did take a pregnancy test just out of curiosity at day 28 which turned out negative. As of now it is around day 34 of my cycle with no AF. I was hoping maybe all the drugs pumped into me had straightened my body out but so far it seems to be going back to it’s old ways only worse because now I have the after affects of the treatment to deal with!

For those of you who have gone through treatments and then stopped without a pregnancy did you deal with any of this? Did your body ever go back to the way it was before treatments?

So all this to say that I was doing some research last night and found several studies that link gluten intolerance to infertility. I was shocked..I know most of you probably already know this :) You see, my sister has PCOS and she found out about a year ago that she is gluten intolerant. She deals with other health issues too so I really didn’t think anything of it in regards to me. The symptoms that lead her to her diagnosis weren’t ones that I was having. However in my research last night it said that sometimes infertility can be the only symptom of gluten intolerance. Also, I have had stomach problems for many years and was diagnosed with IBS about 5 years ago. My issues come and go so I never really do anything about them. But as I was reading last night it dawned on me that my severally bloated tummy might be caused by some sort of gluten intolerance. According to my family doc although there is a test for celiac disease it isn’t a for sure and you can test negative and still be gluten intolerant.

I don’t know if going off gluten will help but I am willing to give it a try. It is kind of helpful that my sis has already been going through this because I am more aware of what does and does not contain gluten. This is going to be very hard because I love most everything that contains gluten. Oh how I am going to miss bread, muffins, cookies, cupcakes and all that yummy baked goods! Luckily most fro yo is gluten free!!

Well I guess I will see how it goes and in a couple months if there is no change then bring on the gluten again :)

Wish me luck because I am going to need it!

20 Miles and Forever 21 – Day 16/17

I know that I am kind of cheating by combining days but yesterday I had no motivation to write and well I just didn’t.

I am very happy and proud to announce that the hubs and I made it through our 20 mile run today and are still alive to tell about it :) I really do think the forced and unplanned rest of last week helped our run go smoother this week (when we were suppose to run 20 last weekend but apparently after rolling a car you aren’t allowed to run for 3 days). We got up at 5:30am and headed out the door at about 6am. It was still dark outside and the stars were amazing! We planned to do 2 miles (2 laps) around our neighborhood and then stop back, shed our gloves and long sleeves and headed out for the final 18 miles. It was amazing to see the gorgeous sunrise! I was very tempted to keep my long sleeves on because it was still very cold but I also knew that I would warm up soon and then be stuck with them.

We had done this route one other time before and this time went a lot better because I knew what to expect. The hubs did amazing, I was so proud of him especially since he is still dealing with itchy staples in his head! We didn’t have to walk or even take a drink until about mile 15 and then my hip was killing me so I knew it would be smart to give it a short break and walk for a minute. That really seemed to help and although I was hurting for the last 7 miles it wasn’t unbearable and we finished in good spirits! The main things that I looked forward to while we ran was a hot shower, oatmeal and some of the hubs sausage egg and cheese biscuit when we got back! We have the marathon next weekend and I am getting very nervous!

After we semi-recovered from the mornings festivities we headed down the road (about an hour down the road) to a very yummy cupcake place because I had to get a gift for a friend and of course we needed sugar :) There is a huge Forever 21 right by it and since it is rather far away I asked the hubs if he minded if we stopped there. He had to go to Best Buy so it worked out well. He dropped me at Forever 21 and then did his guy thing at Best Buy. Since he ended up finding what he wanted and had to wait to get it installed I got some extra shopping time…dangerous!

I ended up getting 3 pairs of shoes (one was on clearance), a dress, a sweater, and a necklace. There were so many good things it was hard to decide but I was also trying not to spend too much! It’s funny because this is totally a store for me that sometimes I can find so many good things and other times I find nothing.

Here are some of the things I bought:

They have them in brown too which I totally love but they only had the black in my size.

These are so so comfy!

I got these is a darker brown.

I also got a necklace but I couldn’t find a picture of it!

Well that’s my weekend so far..how is yours?

ANTM Love – Day 15

I just watched the season premier of America’s Next Top Model. I totally love this show! I know it’s catty and way too much drama but I don’t care…it’s one of my all time favorite shows :)

This season the girls seem even stranger than ever but I am sure that it will make it good entertainment. Well I don’t have much more to say besides that I can’t wait for the rest of the season. Oh and I am so obsessed that I almost tried out for the season where you had to be 5’7 or under (i’m 5’4) but well there was no follow through on that :)

And what season can’t be complete without the Jay’s..

Have a great thursday!